Принц Папа Жан

When I’m holding the brush

When I’m holding the brush…
I dress up emptiness with divine cloothes.
I bathe in the pride of the dew.
I am a harbour to each inspiration.
I am insight itself contained in one body.
My heart is a sun’s ray.
My features are a mask concealing everything and evrybody.
I am my own road. I travel within myself.
I am a winding river. A ford across it. A bridge on which pain and joy meet. Sometimes I am a precipice and crumbling rocks.A falling mountaineer. A dying person’s cry. The resurrection of all creatures. A victory of love. The mane of a fiery steed and a neighing chest. A silent statue. My own self-portrait and not my own self.
Wind-swept ocean in my soul. A quake of the thirteenth degree on the Richter scale of my everyday being. Storm and destruction, yet a creator and a creation. Blind towards the visible and a look into the invisible. The flapping of an angel’s wings. Enigmatic mood.Tropical heat and a downpour of emotions. A loner among billions of loners. My own teacher and my own pupil. Seeker for fresh colours in the spectrum. Nails, scratching the dullness of existence. A gigantic mace in the hand of humanity’s day-dreams,crashing down onto the world spleen. I am spleen itself. I destroy myself and recreate myself out of my ruins. The same, yet different. Singular and plural. A face combining the features of each human being. Flesh, subject to the passions of each living creature. Bits of thought, hand,brush and canvas. All that is myself. I paint myself. I am the brush which paints.
When I hold the brush…
I shatter the chains of shackled spirits.
Rebelling passions fulfill my designs.
Touching the canvas, I play on David’s lyre the psalm of life. The psalm of Man. The psalm of love. The sole, endless psalm. Breath. That which stops in somebody’s lungs only to continue raging in the lungs of somebody else. The breath of love and passion. Of destruction, too. The exquisite melody dedicated to Revelation.
When I hold the brush…
I write an interminable sentence that cannot be uttered but can only be felt.
I am a teacher to mankind and a pupil of the elements of my soul.
An arcane tattooed sign upon the maternal breast of the Earth.
A caress of the thigh of the Beloved, Nature.
A traveller in mysterious countries.
Uncharted territory, dream and fountain.
Thirst and wilderness.
Bitter wine.
A priest devoted lovingly to Beauty. A sin offering to its respectable idol. An exotic plant. Raging ashes. A stop-over between existence here and the existence beyond.
An actor in the Theatre of Eternity.
A librarian in the Library of the worlds.
An alchemist of emotions. A philosopher of Silence. An athlete of the spirit. The red rose in the hand of the Feminine Goddess.
Air on Alpine peaks.
The sighs of all loving hearts
Sardonic laughter of all souls fighting for survival, vulnerable and equipped with cynicism.
Lover of forest demi-goddesses.
A magician – black, white and multi-coloured.
Juicy fruit in the garden of intellect. Tempting forms. Design of the all-encompassing.
A spot of colour on death’s black cap.
Laughter and joy, tears and sorrow. Lies seen through and worn-out truths. Blockade before mental terror. A happy tragedy. Autumn and spring leaves. Autumn and spring caresses. A winter’s tale and a summer’s freedom. A long winter night and a long summer noon.
When I hold the brush…
I dissolve the world in other worlds. I collect the worlds in a world picture. A universal gallery. Millions of heartbeats I merge into a single one.
I feel things which are impalpable.
I think things which ought not to be thought of.
In cosmic silence I hear a lyrical song and dance in step with a distant star, long extinct.
I fight demons and angels.
I treat myself to demons and angels.
We drink at the fountain of infinite insight and feed on dead matter.
We often argue and our polemics go on thousands of years.
We compete in contests entitling the winner to realize his or her project.
Within a fraction of a second I wake up a normal man again.
Normal. Within an instant I forget my Merry Doll again and and am once again travelling along the fantastic countless dimensions of the Country.

When I hold a brush….
I am the hot clothes of the cosmos and my flesh tossed ecstatically between heaven and hell,touches the supreme revelations of the possible.
My essence is the freshness of the new-born splendour.
My hand is upon the breast of unknown Beloved.
My heart explodes in order to re-create the world.
Tears, sweat, blood, sperm, dew, and ocean after an explosive reaction become colours and the image which I seek to discover myself.
Life’s caresses and fists become a melody of light.
I kiss the hand of Eve who offers the fruit of sin to my lips.
I tempt the snake of my subconscious thought.
I race towards victory.
I turn darkness into a harp and awake the dawn with its tune.
I make love to the fiery-haired moon.
I split into millions of selves.
I whisper with the wind and the grass.
I drench the earth with my happy tears and it brings forth Love.
I melt icebergs in my palms.
Light frolics in my veins.
I descend along the infinite spiral of consciousness towards the most secretive corners of the Universe.
My hands are the oars of thought.
I return before the beginning of the infinite to lay it again.
I frolic in fantasies. I turn my craze into reality. The real becomes fantastic. The evil dies in the embrace of beauty.
With the days I adorn the nights.
Stars are the pearls in the hair of the woman whom I love and bless.
I halt time. I speed it up. I carry myself into the past and into the future. I shake up history. I give birth in pain and delight.
I boil in pain and delight.
I live beyond pain and delight.
I paint pain and delight.
I bring back the childhood longings of aging mankinds.
Boldly experience the most daring emotions.
I intimately caress non-existent things. I stir them up in my orgasm and they become fact.
I burn myself to ashes and am born out of my ashes.
When I hold a brush…
I utter the final message of my heart.
Brush in hand, I look for you in order to say it to you. My friend, you, who have also devoted yourself to Beauty with love. You, who are also travelling to the depths of soulfulness. You, who spur your thought on, in order to know the secrets of the universe. You, who are also dreaming about the day of Seeing It All…
I know I have discovered you but I am still discovering you.
“IF YOU SEARCH FOR BEAUTY, IT WILL FIND YOU!”

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